My Portraits: Slightly Embarrassed Yet Proud I Did It

Some would probably argue that having one's portrait taken isn't such a big deal, what with all the smartphones for taking selfies with, and selfies of everybody else all over the internet...Yeah, maybe there isn't anything to be embarrassed about. Heck, maybe I'm not even really embarrassed and I just don't have a word for how I feel, right? Anyhooo..

If you followed my previous posts, you know I went for some informal photography lessons a few days ago. The subject was portraiture and I was also the subject. I learned about different lighting techniques, basic camera handling and a very important revelation about myself. Read on.

Maybe it's because I've felt disconnected from my body image since forever. Maybe there are the expressions that show on my face that only the closest people to me can  read and appreciate. There are the signs of age and experiences I have not yet come to terms with nor am I ready to share with anyone else. Now that I'm 30, I want to get over that. There have been a lot of insecurities that can be uncovered when one gets their portrait taken by someone else, be it a friend or a stranger. It's probably because the photographer is the artist and he/she captures what the world may perceive of you. Unlike with a selfie, you can control how you present yourself in the photo. With portraiture, nope. 

The word that finally comes to mind is VULNERABLE. I feel that my portraits here uncovered a vulnerability in my person. I know portraits can empower you too, if one is able to shed off insecurities and apprehensions before facing the lights, but I'm afraid I went in front of the camera with the wrong mindset. 

And yet, upon further observation of the resulting photos, I realized that this really is ME. I can embrace all my physical flaws, the bumps and lines and imperfections and everything else. At first I saw a stranger in my picture but as I looked closer, maybe I was the one with the distorted image in my head as seen though the lens of my front facing camera on my phone. These were my real expressions, the ones I did not control, the real proportions of my face...even my eyebrows do not seem so overwhelmingly bushy, unlike what I normally think. And these revealed me for what I really am. Timid and anxious! 

Now that you and I can agree that we both know myself better, I can feel proud. Maybe I wasn't expecting this but I'm still glad I did it with an open mind and learned a lot about myself in the process. 


Beauty Blog related stuff I took note of:

Portraiture is very, very different from FOTDs. The composition and lighting techniques are totally different! Which means, makeup application is different too. While in the usual FOTDs we tend to wear something we might use for everyday or a special occasion, for portraiture we need heavier coverage and have to make it look like skin. Yes, that's where the heavy contouring, color correcting, high definition makeup rules. Yup, think makeup for editorial photos, ad campaigns, film makeup. 

You know, I feel like stepping into the rabbit hole in this industry! Everyday, I learn something new and there are so many more possibilities! Here I am exploring the blogging world and now I'm learning stuff about mass media too!


Have a great day ahead everyone!