Long post coming at ya. Don’t be alarmed.
Seven months on since finding out that I had PCOS and that my thyroid hormones are in the high normal range (meaning I still get to experience hyperthyroidism symptoms), I can now say that my health is turning up again.
After my latest checkup last week, I am so happy to share with everyone that my PCOS has been responsive to treatment and my ovaries are finally back to normal! I had an inkling, even before the ultrasound, that the condition must have improved because I haven’t had cramping during my period the past two months. As for the hyperthyroidism issue, I am so glad that the results of the blood tests came back clear! During my last checkup, my endocrinologist explained to me that I don’t have anything to worry about anymore, and that my thyroid hormone levels did not elevate further and that in fact, my hormones normalized and my thyroid is functioning properly.
Now, here’s the thing, both my doctors educated me on the effects of stress on my hormones and concluded that more likely, my symptoms were stress-induced. Avoiding stress has improved my general health. During my checkups, I didn’t think much of it but after a few days ruminating on the conclusion, I must say they are right. Now that I know that stress does cause the symptoms, I had been in reflection mode lately.
Last year had been so very stressful for me. Those who are closest to me know why. My general press release is that too many things happened all at once. But, I want to be a bit more candid here. It was adulthood, the actual kind, where I decided to make my OWN decisions for myself and take charge of my OWN life. It was marriage, the actual kind, where my husband and I decided on our OWN to go our OWN way and take charge of our OWN family. Big changes. I bet young married couples can high-five me here. And, on top of that, it was relationships, some relationships soured when we set up our personal boundaries. I can’t get into this without giving you a bit of a background. This is not a tell all by any means, but it is a means of releasing myself from these painful incidents. I’ll give just a hint: I used to live with some VERY TOXIC people. And I don’t mean my husband or my children. I’m glad to be out of that. And in sharing this, I’m glad to get it out of my chest. It had been my reality for so many years and it had its very bad effects on me.
I wrote in my past health updates that I didn’t know if the stress was causing my symptoms or my symptoms were causing the stress. Now, I know what emotional and mental stress does. It causes physical stress. In short, I had a MAJOR BURN-OUT people, and I didn’t even know it. That’s just it. The triangle that makes up a burnout is physical, emotional and mental stress. The triangle has overlapping symptoms such as anxiety and depression and a myriad of health problems (mostly metabolic). I had been fighting against it but I didn’t know what I was fighting against. The anxiety and the depression that comes with it is insane, and the funny thing is I didn’t even know what it was until now.
The good thing though, is that thanks to all the loving people I have around me who kept encouraging me to go on and do my thing at my own pace, I am down the right track to healing after all. It seems so long ago but it was just around seven months ago. The culminating point of the burnout, I mean. So many things changed for me since then but it has been a good change! The moment I opened myself up to more people, starting this blog and working on my social media, so many positive things have happened! I met other people who encouraged me, inspired me and guided me. I also have my mom, my sister, my titas and my best girlfriends to thank for all the support they’ve given me! I now have a yoga family I love as well! I’m looking forward to more adventures and living a life of happiness.
So, I’m still on this journey towards healing myself. But now, I go forward with complete awareness that I need to care not just for my physical self, but for my emotional and mental health and not neglect any facet of my being. I want to be able to be the best version of myself for me. Just me. Yes, I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a friend, a colleague, a woman, a blogger etc. I am all those things but I still have to be me. I want to live a life that I can call my OWN. I want the end of my days full of contentment and gratitude to my Creator. For me, now, that’s the true meaning of living life to its fullest.
This post has been way too long and such a rollercoaster to write. Believe me, it just keeps pouring out of me and I need to put a lid on it before you get sick of me. But, I do hope that in sharing a bit of my experience, I might touch a life somewhere who is going the same sh*t I’m going through. To that person, I hope this finds you well and I hope you’ll find a kindred spirit in me. It’s big world to be alone in, and the reason I’m blogging is so I can knit the world a bit smaller, even in my own little way.
Thanks for reading!